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Why making mistakes and then apologizing is better than trying not to make any mistakes ever: mistakes are human. 
The key to good relationships is to be natural. Do what feels right in your heart. If she's doing something that annoys or bothers you, call it out. It's how human societies have functioned for ages. Don't suppress out of fear or fake wisdom. Don't assume they'll learn the right thing eventually. Teach them if you know something to be true - it's a contribution. 
Life cannot always be about agreement. There always needs to be the opposite to balance it out. If you're a yes man, it's not good for you or your partner - you lose your sense of agency and become a servant, and she becomes gradually intolerant of dissenting voices living in her echo chamber. Time to correct course and get back to being a full-fledged human with opinions. No more self-censorship, whether for personal or political reasons.

When you get anxiety or depression, it's due to unresolved conflict. As in, you haven't been doing the right thing, and your brain subconsciously knows, and is ringing alarm bells. Distractions are only temporary relief and comfort (including cuddles from your partner) and don't cure the root cause. The stronger your sense of justice, the more bothered you'll be. It's a great thing to have a strong moral compass 心里过不去。For me, it happened when I was late for work a whole week in a row. For her, it's being immature and lazy. With nobody calling out our problems, they get ignored - being too lenient is harmful. As partners, we need to point out each other's mistakes, not let them slide. Make ourselves aware of what's actually wrong (we already know it subconsciously, just too afraid to admit it, most of the time) so we don't go crazy trying to figure out why we're unhappy, among a million different possible reasons (blaming it on politics, family, capitalism, racism, immigrants...none of these work). Then forgive each other afterwards, followed by encouraging solution and change. Say the ugly truth, do yourself a favor. No BS. That's why Christians invented forgiveness from Jesus for all sins - to overcome this human flaw that blocks so much potential. For me, journaling achieves that purpose, because I can be completely honest and confess all my true feelings that I'm embarrassed to tell people. It gives me clarity on what I actually care about - and when I care about something, I'm all fired up, full of life.

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